Fruit jokes
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!