Friendship jokes
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
My friend said my life was a joke.
No jokes have meaning.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.