Friendship

Friendship jokes

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"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

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    • Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

    Me: Love you too.

    *wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

    I don't know if this is funny.

    Girl: Hey.

    Orphan: Hi.

    Girl: Wanna be friends?

    Orphan: Sure.

    Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

    I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

    I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?

    Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

    So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

    When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.

    You won't feel lonely anymore :(

    I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

    Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

    Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"