Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
Why is an orphan and a dog friends?
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Run, bestie, run!
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
