Friends jokes
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What do you call a group of teenage emos?
Suicide squad.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.