So I had a friend who was an orphan and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
I know five fat people and you're three of them
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
Me: hey do you want to see my grandma. Friend: yeah sure Me: *pulls out gun*
friend: “ whats that on your arm” me: “ oh nothing just decided i wanted to cosplay a tiger “
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
my suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonalds.
'i told my black friend a joke'' told him he needs to lighten up!!!
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say "You're next". So I started poking them at funerals and saying "You're next" to my friends.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Why does the ice cream 🍨 have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
