What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can't u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don't care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"
My friend has a dry sense of humour
Probably bc her body was decomposed ages ago
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
My friend; you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?
my friend: Chunky dunks
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.
what's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school.
when you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
