My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no friends. Knock Knock (Who's there?) Not Sally...
i hate when i lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. where do i lose my friends from Afghanistan? in an explosion
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I'm color blind
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize your in a crematorium.
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? friend: why? me: they have a history of separating colors
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said you are what you eat. He then proceeded to run away from me.
What is killing your friend called? a homie-side
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'
2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."
