Friends jokes

"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

Friend: But you're an orphan.

Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!

My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.

Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?

That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.

He sucked his sister's poop hole.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

Dinosaurs be like:

".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."