Friends jokes
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
James, sike, I lied, your mommy is pancakes, is so dry.
My best friend: Joey, sike, I lied, your Twitch is dry.
My other friends: the winner is................. my guy James!
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."