Friends jokes

Man

    • A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

    She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

    The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

    Friend

    • I have a trans friend.

    He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.

  • 0
    • Friends memes

    Tom

    • My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

    So I said, "But which one?"

    Hairline

    • I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

  • 3

    • Lie

    • A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.

    The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.

    Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!

    Phone

    • I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

    Friend

    • Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

    Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

    Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

    Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

    All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

    Orphan

    • FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

    LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

    FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

    LONELY ORPHAN: :(

    Dam

    • Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

    Haircut

    • Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

    Me.

    You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

    Orphan

    • Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

    Friend: But you're an orphan.

    Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!