Friends jokes

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

My friend: You're ugly.

The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

How do you be friends with a musician?

B minor.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!

Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.

Me: What do you call an orphan?

Friend: Homeless.

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

You are like Papa.

Friends don't lie.

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.