Friends jokes

What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!

#HOMIEZ4Life

P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.

What kind of poo should you put in your hair?

Shampoo.

Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.

My friend: How?

Justin: Justin!

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

Hey Gwen... I had a friend named Gwen in preschool.

The preschool was Cascade Christian and in Washington (which is close to Oregon. I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot, but I think you might be the same Gwen. If not, ok.

Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

A question: When is (my name) happy?

Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

Answer: Never, only a portion.

Friend: Do you need help?

My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.

Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

What's wrong with my friend?

He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.

I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂

What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."