Friends jokes

Your forehead and your hairline must be old friends, because they go way back.

My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).

She wasn't joking. :0

We are 15....

I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

You are like Papa.

Friends don't lie.

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

Me: What do you call an orphan?

Friend: Homeless.

What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.