Friends jokes

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.

From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.

Drink tea with friend game night.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

What do you call your retard friend?

A homie with an extra cromie.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.