Friends jokes

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?

A ginger with friends.

Roses are red, I have a confession:

A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road.

He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?"

"Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done."

This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine."

"What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do."

"You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?"

Chuck knew the answer. "Me."

Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house."

Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either.

"No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways."

He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?"

Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence.

He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him.

A single tear welled in Chuck's eye.

The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"

Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.