New Friend Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers and he took away my queen.

My friend and I were at the mall, and decided to try on some necklaces. He said l think you should get the one over there, I do, I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it, I asked him did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day, he replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

I asked my friend "shouldn't we have 6 senses?" he replied "what is the 6th sense?" "common sense" I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention" never mind" I said.

FOR MY GIRLFRIEND AND FRIENDS TO CHAT:)

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.

i told my friend that there was a tree. on that tree there were four black chickens, I said how many beaks do the chickens have, he said four. then I said there was a white cat, how many teeth does it have? he couldn't answer, so I said looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy

My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

Qualification Check:

Single

Taken

Friended ✔️

Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.

Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life. The creator son tried that! ( Mt friends said to post this I accept no responsibility.)

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house. So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard, one said “ what tree?” I replied “you’ll know when you get here”

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

A man find out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says “I can save you $100”