Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
Me: Yo, dude! yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV I missed three episodes! My friends mom: why you bully me?
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
You: I have a nice hairline.
Your friend: Since when do you have one?
You: I forgot.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
