Football jokes
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Only in Ohio.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Cleveland Browns
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Memes
Who is the goat Ronaldo suuuuuuuuuiiiiiii
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Arsenal
LewenGOALski
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.