Football jokes
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Only in Ohio.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Memes
Tom aint Tom
Cleveland Browns
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
LewenGOALski
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Arsenal
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.