Football

Football jokes

Pass

    • Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

    - 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

    Better than Elanga?

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    • Penaldo

    • I was born and raised in Newcastle.

    My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

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    • Baby

    • What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

    I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

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    • Chant

    • He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.

  • 3

    • Fly

    • Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”

    Football memes

    Quarterback

    • As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.

    My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."

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    • Mama

    • Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

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