Foot

Foot Jokes

Wheel

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

Jesus

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

Orphan

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

Handicap

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

Nose

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Jesus

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?

"Feet! Feet!"

Boot

What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?

A: Garry Glitter's boots.

Insult

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

Pistol

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

Kobe

Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.

Girlfriend

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

Ladder

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Mom

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

Reality

If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.