Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
That was a really crappy bun!
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
