What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Food Jokes
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
Hey guys, it's cake time!
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Pickled carrots.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
