Food jokes
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.