Food service jokes
Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Hello, welcome to abortion pizza. Your loss is our sauce.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.