Food service jokes
"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Hello, welcome to abortion pizza. Your loss is our sauce.
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.