Chuck norris sneezed and sent 2 planes fly...ON SEPTEMBER 11 2001
What did one tower say to the other damn you looking fly
yo mama so gay, that after watching aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag
what is the point of buttchinns? To catch flies
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay. Because it would be a bagel
Man: hey kids, who wants milk? Kids: Me! Man: *unzips fly*
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass!" The Voodoo Dick then flies out of the woman's vagina and inside the officer's ass. The officer say "WHAT THE HELL GET THIS THING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE!" The woman laughs and replies, "Thanks officer" and turns around and goes home.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car
A: A suicide bomber
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp of a roof
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands
I love you
What is your car 🚙 you can not drive ? A super flying car 🚘
i saw a helicopter fly next minute i knew kobe was on the news
Mcdonalds has a drive through Twin towers has a fly through
if a chicken flys into the plane and the plane crashes whos falt is it a:the drivers chickens can't fly
Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old)
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.