Flower jokes
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.