If i send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?
Brother; because their beautiful!
Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't.
Brother:......
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: I've got u flowers Patient: Awww, What's the bad news? Doctor: *They're for your grave*
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie. Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest. Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout! If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in. I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram? If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion.
you look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if i give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty, We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car all the pricks are on the inside.
(Thanks to lostin Flowers cause this one is fucking funny)
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self raising...
What did the step dad say to the flower? YOU'RE GROUNDED!
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
Teacher: whats 55 flowers plus 67 flowers? Kid: a garden? Teacher: did I tell you that you're adopted?
Why do eight year old girls wear panties with flowers on? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her...
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums
I caught the flowers at a wedding-now married to a hot guy. But then i caught andit at a funeral i kinda nervo...............
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower. One is beautiful
