Flower jokes

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.

Roses are red, I wish you were dead.

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

What color flowers do mama cats like to get?

Purrrrrrrple flowers.

We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.

We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.

Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

He used honeycomb.

Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?

In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.

A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.

What did the bee say to the flower?

"Hey bud! When do you open?"