Flower jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
gomgjg
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Roses are red, violets are violet.