Flight jokes
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.