Flight jokes
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."