Flex jokes

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?

She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his flex rhymes!

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!