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Flag Jokes

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...

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Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing!!! Tomorrow I am going to six flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR day!!!!!! Woohooo!!!!

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts. Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flag mate.

How the German people could fall for Hitler and the Nazis? There were an awful lot of red flags.

Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.

puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL