Fitness jokes
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!