Fitness jokes
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.