Fish

Fish jokes

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I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.

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    • A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

    I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

    I have a fish that can breakdance!

    Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

  • 5

    • Why did that fish cross the road?

    Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

    I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

    I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

    Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

    Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

    Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

    Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

    Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

    Dad fucked Mom.

    Mom fucked son.

    Son fucked sister.

    Sister fucked dog.

    Dog fucked cat.

    Cat fucked bird.

    Bird fucked fish.

    Fish fucked Dad.

    Dad really liked it!

    Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.

    Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."