Fish jokes
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
The bank said go to the river bank. Oh, oh, oh, good fishy joke!
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.