What is 2+2? Fish
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
these are all of my terrible jokes
Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I'll serve you but don't start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I'm joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs" the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall, I don't know. I'm asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Penis
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
you can tune a car...but you can't TUNA fish! x3
What do you call a fish with no eye- a one-eyed fish you smart ass
Yo mama so fat she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
