Fish jokes

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

What do you call a fish that has a dick?

Moby Dickkkkk!

Dad fucked Mom.

Mom fucked son.

Son fucked sister.

Sister fucked dog.

Dog fucked cat.

Cat fucked bird.

Bird fucked fish.

Fish fucked Dad.

Dad really liked it!

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.

What do you call a downy under water?

Dead fish

Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.

A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.

He yells, "Hello ladies!"

How do fish get to school?

By the octobus.