Fight Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I got in a cage fight

the hampster dident cnow wat hit him

fight in the comments

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

How do you break up a fight between two gay men Say can you get straight to the point

Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

A Chinese Drunk and a Jewish Drunk are sitting together on a park bench...

After finishing his drink the Jew takes his bottle and *smashes* it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" ask the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle, and *smashes* it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg.... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

How did Stephen hawking die. He lost a water gun fight

What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable ?

Hmm let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck maybe he will meet a super unicorn and helps him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see's a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter".

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter".

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter".

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important"?

Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here".

why did the dog cause the fight

because it was a bulldog

What the the vegetable say to the other before the fight? Time to beet your maker.

Your the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you

what do you call 6 gay men having a fight?

- Rainbow six siege

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.

Women be like men cause wars forgets men fight those wars while they fake cry

i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to "single". i have fights with my parents but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan".