Father

Father jokes

Moment

    • I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

  • 1
    • Father memes

    Bullet

    • What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

    "That is bull crap!"

    Orphan

    • Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

    Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

  • 2

    • Ice Cream

    • A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

    Orphan

    • Why did the orphan go to church?

    It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."

  • 0

    • Santa Claus

    • Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

    Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

    So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

    Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

  • 0

    • Robux

    • There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

    One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

    One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

    The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

    Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

  • 8

    • Year

    • I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

    He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

  • 0

    • Dwarf

    • One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.

  • 0

    • Sex

    • Jimmy caught his parents having sex and asked what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and his mom asked why and he replied, "Well, Mommy, I see you and the mailman do it, and when he leaves he says, 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it, so I wanted to try!" The dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone, babe!" The mother was very sad, and then the father left and went to get divorce papers, and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older.

    18 years later...

    Jimmy has a girlfriend and asks her to call him a sus name, and she says only in the bed, and he agrees. Later, when they both are having sex, Jimmy's girlfriend asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was, so then 9 months later, she was pregnant, but abortion was illegal, so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption.

    A few years later, Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child, and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets. Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast, it was an emergency, and so Jimmy left really fast. However, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible, and then they did it. Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and his wife having sex. Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, "Well baby, tonight's your lucky night," and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome, and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had two dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again, and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it, but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmy's wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.