Father jokes
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
Read my name.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
"Tyler teller, come to daddy!"
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.