Father jokes
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.