Father jokes
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
Read my name.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.