If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Father Jokes
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
