Fat jokes

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.

Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"

Yo mama is so fat that every step she takes in the ocean creates a tsunami!

Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

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Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?

One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.