Fat jokes
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Bully: Your fat.
Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.