Fat jokes
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
Bully: Your fat.
Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.