Fat jokes

One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.

The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.

I like my girls like my file systems...

FAT and 16.

What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?

A rhino.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.

How Jupiter was discovered.

Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.

Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???

Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(

Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!

Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!

Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.

Why did he kill himself?

Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.