Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Fat Jokes
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
