Fat jokes
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.