I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped on a trampoline and she broke it.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
What did the butt say to the other butt? I got big fat apples for bleep checks
Yo mama so fat when she ate 1 cheese burger she pooped it out immediately because her butt was to big.
Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
Shut the fuck up u fat bitch u always like to roast others but u cant walk up the stairs whithout passing out u fat stupid bitch and i caught you break into someones house just to steal a peace of candy fat ass bitch.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
