Fat

Fat Jokes

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard? One's a good lot of fat the other's a fat lot of good

Shut the fuck up u fat bitch u always like to roast others but u cant walk up the stairs whithout passing out u fat stupid bitch and i caught you break into someones house just to steal a peace of candy fat ass bitch.