We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
what do you call a three legged cow?
Disabled.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What goes moo? Cow.
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