Farm jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
Memes
This is real, sorta
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
The chicken is so fat.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!