If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Stressed Out - By - Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions - I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard. I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words. I wish I found some chords In an order that is new. I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang.
I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink. But now I'm insecure And I care what people think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think.
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out
Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one. It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
