Fantasy jokes
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
I am the grand wizard, mak.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.