Little Johnny was in class and his teacher asked "how many of you guys are trump fans?" since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well except little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "why are you being different again Johnny....." so little Johnny says "well because im a democrat. My mom is a democrat and my dad is a democrat, so im a democrat!" so then the teacher responds with "well what if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot what would that make you?" well little Johnny says, "a trump fan!"
if I don't find a reason to live soon my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Bee Jokes: "Hello"
"Oh hello buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing! (Laughs)"
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes dude! (Laughs)"
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon. (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind! (Laughs)"
whats the one thing that you dont have but celebrities do?
Lots of FANS
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices and our ISP is a legilimens.
As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Whatβs the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.
few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here." 7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying
"Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
I used to be a fan, but after seeing her onlyfans account I'm a whole air conditioner.
To All The Naruto Fans:
sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you
Your mom is so hot, if she had a only fans page, she would get more money than companies on pride month
Iβd like to be a one direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(just a joke, no offense)
If I was an object in this world Iβd be a glass! Because if you leave me when Iβm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
Iβm a star! Because one of these days Iβm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die Iβd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
Iβm like the sun; Iβm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
Iβm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature Iβd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
Iβm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because itβs dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
Iβm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
Iβm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
Iβm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
Iβm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
Iβm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that canβt afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me...
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!ππππ
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk tp the nearest gas station a few miles back. One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom.. soph: this is why arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF
Adapt: Hey Adapt, Did you know your smart? Smart for being retarded Yo adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!
Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE Normal People: I support only 1 team Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And i'm the biggest plastic in the server!!
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form; Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
