What makes it cold 🥶 in a room? Air conditioning
I am a George Formby fan,and I love football...my favourite manager was Arsen Wenger...my favourite referee was Collina...my favourite player was Dean Windas........so my favourite George Formby song was Wenger,Collina,Windas
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike- They both worship Datsun.
Anjolina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt... Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
I have a daughter she’s a fan her name is penny..... fan she was born on the mountain pen y fan I adopted her because her mum fell of the cliff after birthing penny. It doesn’t matter really penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music." The second windmill said, " I'm a big metal fan."
Sweet victory fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded! Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls and the NFL was one of them
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
today i explain what things are fake. serial killers, clowns, billy, fairies, your life,God,Jesus,your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff, youtube,your dad,scientists,teachers,God,Jesus, and Billy.
stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake.Alot of idiots will read this.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
im a big fan of white boards there re-marketable
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
I am a big fan of whiteboards I find them quite re-markable
Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
