Family Jokes

Why are orphans lonely?

Because they don't have parents to talk to.

Why are you an orphan? Loser...

What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?

Not wanted.

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.

Fuck you and your shitty family!

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

What can't an orphan spell?

Home.

Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?

Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.

Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.

Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

"Orphans get picked."

Why is it OK to hit an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Home Depot.

Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.