Family jokes
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?
Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.
Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!
Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!
“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"