Family jokes

Hi! I’m going back home.

Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because it's not original at all.

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

Yo daddy so ugly he want them ice.

Your hairline receded just like your father did years ago.

Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

Orphan joke.

Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?

Brother: Sure.

Me: Turn off the light.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."