Family

Family jokes

News

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

Zoo

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

Memes

Son

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

Wife

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is.”

Cancer

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

Fat

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

Orphan

I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.

Orphan

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

Because he had no home to go to.

Mama

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

Bedtime

Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?

A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Orphan

Orphan: Throws a boomerang.

Boomerang: Comes back with his father.

Father: Goes to get milk.

Orphan

Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?

Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".